Ambiguous Loss and Adoption

Yes,  I talk about my sister often.  She is my source of inspiration,  someone who I aspire to become like.  She made a selfless sacrifice that, to this day, makes me shiver.

I have researched the ins and outs of adoption to better understand my sister and her sacrifice.  One term that stuck with me was ambiguous loss.

I am talking about ambiguous loss over at Mormon Mommy Blogs today.  Please read so that you can understand a little bit better about what birth mothers go through.

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “Ambiguous Loss and Adoption

  1. Thanks for your great post at MMB! Adoption is such a moving, wonderful thing. I wish more birth parents would take advantage of it. I wish my sister had, at 17, even though we love my nephew very much.

    And thanks for your comment on my post! In the extreme liklihood that The Hoff does profess his love for me, my husband has said that I can leave him for The Hoff.

    • Thank you so much!! As a social worker, I’m sure you have seen many situations in which people should have chosen adoption. It is such a tricky issue because it means forgetting your wants and needs. My sister wanted to keep her son. She wanted it so badly, it hurt. However, with no guy in sight she needed to make a decision that would best benefit her little guy.

      Hey, I will continue to comment on your posts. Not only can you write, but you can make me laugh with your witty remarks! Thank *you* for taking on such a serious topic: mental health.

  2. You know I completely understand. How I wish birth mothers were treated less like inhuman monsters (“who would give away their own flesh and blood?!” *gasp*) and more like the selfless, loving people they truly are.

    • Kelly, perhaps you and I could team up and explore this topic more fully?

      I desire to raise awareness regarding the selfless nature of birthmoms. They need to be recognized.

  3. Amber, that was a wonderful post. Kudos to you for putting it out there for your sister. I hope there is more Peace than regret in her decision. I’m sure it will stay with her forever but that, over the course of time, her life will take its own shape and she will move forward into that space that’s just waiting for her to arrive.

    • As always, Sarah, thank you for your comment. As you put it, I think she has more peace than regret, but I think she will continually look back and wonder if she has made the right decision. She is gradually moving forward. I am so proud of her.

  4. Debbie Willson

    Such an amazing and heart wrenching read. Your sister is just so amazing to love her little boy so much to make such a sacrifice.
    Debs

    • Debbie, nice to have you!

      My sister’s story is one that I will continue to share. She is an example of how to face hard decisions.

  5. Nicki

    Amber, your words are beautiful. They express many things that I think people do not realize about adoption. I do hope that your sister finds a peace with her decision as her life moves forward.