I found Nicki a few months ago. She has become a treasured friend as well as someone I look up to and seek advice from. On her blog, Nicki’s Nook, she discusses everything from politics to recent drama with her children. Enjoy her delightful take on saying no!
The beginning of a new year brings all kinds of people setting all kinds of expectations for the upcoming 365 days. While most of these expectations will be along the lines of broad, sweeping changes – reducing stress, losing weight, having more time with family or for self, people should realize that practicing one simple word would help in many areas of life.
Learn to say no. That simple little two letter word, when used properly and when meant, will do more to free up time, reduce stress and possibly help lose weight than a lot of other things can do.
Women tend to be nurturers. We tend to want to please people and take care of people. Because of these traits, it is hard for us to say no. We also like people to like us and, generally speaking, telling someone no is not what we think as a way to build good will.
Studies have shown that saying yes – or not saying no – gives buzz. The reward center of your brain feels happy when you say yes (Cosmopolitan, January 2010). Unfortunately, if you really didn’t have the time for whatever you just agreed to, you will be unhappy after the buzz wears off.
Another problem with not saying no is that it puts you further and further down the priority list. When you agree to chair that PTA committee, it takes up time that you may need for exercise or reading or playing with your family.
I know that as a work from home mother friends think I am available throughout the day. I may have five minutes here and there, but unless I plan to take time off by working later or on a weekend, my days are work days. This is not to say that I don’t rearrange my schedule but when I do, I do it because I want to do so, not because I accepted something I don’t really want to do.
Try to nurture yourself this year. Help yourself reach those resolutions of more family time or more you time. Say no when you really don’t want to work on something. Say it short and simple. If you have problems, practice saying no. Realize that saying no is good for you and your family.