Conversations About Death

“Do you ever think about how you are going to die?”  Mr. B asked one night.

I rolled my eyes.  “No. I prefer to dwell on less morbid topics,  things pertaining to living.”

“Well,  if you could choose which way to die,  what would you choose?”  Mr. B. continued.

“Um,  I think that I’d rather not answer that seeing that I really have no choice in the matter,”  I quipped.

“I think I’m going to die of a heart attack or in a car accident,”  he calmly stated. “I’d prefer something that would immortalize me.”

*****************

“Would you go back to school if I died?”  Mr. B inquired during a drive home one night.

“Probably,”  I nonchalantly responded.

“For a Master’s?”  he asked.

“Well, I would start with a Master’s in therapy then  continue on with my Ph.D.  Since you’d be dead and all, I guess I’d have nothing to hold me back,”  I slyly answered.

“Good choice.  Remember,  you have some good money coming your way when I die,”  he stated.

“True.  What are you waiting for?”

“Great question.”

******************

“I would love to develop cancer,”  B longingly stated one afternoon.  “If I did,  would you support medicinal marijuana?”

“Um, no.”  I exclaimed.  “Why would I want you to develop cancer?  Just for marijuana?”

“Yes.  I’d smoke chronic and go to IHOP with you guys!  Sure,  I’d be in pain but at least I’d be laughing!” he explained.

“Yeah,  and I would be sad because I’d miss you if you died,”  I responded.

“No.  I wouldn’t die,  I would miraculously recover and live another 20 years!” he proclaimed.

*****************

Does your husband enjoy tormenting you with questions about death?  Because this topic is a favorite of my husband’s.

No, my husband is not suicidal.  He’s just weird.  I guess we all have our idiosyncracies, right?

Advertisements

12 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

12 responses to “Conversations About Death

  1. He doesn’t need cancer. Tell him to fibromyalgia or something that brings the chronic pain necessary for a medicinal marijuana script but leaves off the death part.

    I love to talk about death and what will happen after either of us dies (never the kids, only the adults). I like to tell Billy my next husband will do crafts with me and never complain when I ask for help with something and the two of us will live happily off his (Billy’s) life insurance payout.

    It’s what gets me through the day. 😉

    • Hey, sometimes I catch myself fantasizing about living off of Ben’s life insurance. Don’t tell him, it might add fuel to his morbid fire.

  2. Err..yeah…in my marriage? I am SO the weird one.

  3. Okay, obviously Mr. B has spent too much time in the Gross Anatomy Lab lately. I’m sure there must be nothing like that to get one thinking about death!

    Hilarious about him with the medical marijuana. I read a really funny essay by Joel Stein in Time Magazine about how all the drug dealers in California now have to compete with the medical marijuana doctors and their business is suffering!

    • Hahah!! Yes, he has been working on cadavers frequently!! But, unfortunately, he was talking about this before his decision to go to Medical School. Like I said, he is just strange. : )

      I heard about the drug dealer’s woes on NPR!! It made me laugh so hard!!

  4. Melanie J

    No, my husband’s obsession is with robbing banks. He doesn’t want to do it. He just likes to think about how it could be done.

  5. Ah yes, the death subject. We don’t talk about it too much but I do know that my husband’s preferred way to die is by drowning. The most peaceful way, he says.

    It has always disturbed me that he’s thought about all the ways he could go and chosen this one. The method doesn’t bug me but the dying does. I need to keep the thought at bay as much as I can. A mother worries. A wife worries. A daughter worries.

    May each of us be blessed with a long and happy life.

    I will say, however, that I like this Mr. B quite a bit.

  6. Nicki

    Talk like this freaks me out. You seem so calm in your words. Just yesterday, my younger sister called me. She is having surgery next week. She wanted to know if she could name me executor of her will. I freaked – but not til I was off the phone with her.

  7. We talk about death all the time. I am always wondering about what I would do if …

    What can I say? The macabre fascinated me. And my husband deals with it all the time, so it is on his mind, too. Our poor kids have no shot at normal.

  8. My husband knows better thanto talk to me off the cuff about death. I am petrified of dying and can work myself to tears thinking about it. Sometimes Tim thinks he’s being funny saying things like he’d make a fortune selling all my shoes when I die and things like that but really, it’s not funny. I change the subject very quickly!

  9. My husband asked me once which one of my friends I’d like him to marry if I died. He now understands that was a stupid question.