A Post With Really Great Transitions!

I used to dream about being a stripper.  I mean, looking like a stripper.  So, when Kelly reminded me that Amber is a common stripper name,  I was ecstatic.  She is right!  Since I have half of the stripper package (i.e. the name),  I am almost set in pursuing my dream.  Plus, I have always wanted to install a stripper bar in my bedroom.  Just imagine all the excitement that will bring!  I am sure my husband will assent to this new game plan.  The money is another incentive. Anyway,  I have decided to keep my name.  All of you can now rest easy knowing that I will still be  Amber tomorrow.  And maybe a stripper.

Speaking of names,  I can’t keep a secret.  A secret identity that is.  Like the whole keeping my kid’s names a secret in the blog land? Not gonna happen.   Thus, I have decided to get rid of all our nicknames.  Not right now!  I am going to do it in a fun way.  I am quivering with anticipation just thinking about it.

I am also quivering with anticipation because I have been given a whole slew (isn’t that word great?!?) of awards recently that I need to pass on.  Along with these awards, I need to share a list of things you don’t know about me.  I am pretty sure that I have disclosed everything about me on this blog already, but I will dig deep and find something awesome to share.

The end.

P.S. My kids say hi. They also say that I have been officially ungrounded.  Lucky me!

P.P.S. I know that all of you have harbored a dream or two of becoming a stripper. Admit it!

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31 Comments

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31 responses to “A Post With Really Great Transitions!

  1. I wouldn’t mind having the body, and tan of a stripper. But I don’t think my moves would get me many tips.

  2. I am basing my hypothetical daughter’s name on what will best be able to get them a job as a stripper, prostitute, or gangbanger’s girlfriend.

    Candy should be a good start.

  3. unabridgedgirl

    I love the word slew, too! 🙂

  4. I’d be too afraid I’d bang my head against the pole, or… any other body part for that matter.
    Congrats on the awards though! I’m a new reader and I’m definitely addicted!

  5. Amber, you are killing me! I don’t believe you’d really want the sad life of a woman who has to dance NAKED for men every day! I don’t care about this alleged idea that they’re only stripping to put themselves through college. Give me a break, and give me my monogamous married life any day! (That being said, I’m sure my husband would like a pole in the bedroom too….)

  6. Love Kristina P’s comment! congrats on the waward, Ambrosia, oops I mean Amber! I’ll let you go so you can go practice your moves! And congrats for all those awards…they are well deserved!

    • Thank you so much, Suzicate! And thank you again and again for the award. I really appreciate it! (You deserved those awards to, lady!)

  7. I suddenly feel guilty for giving my children such old fashioned non-stripperish names. Yet another way in which I’m a bad mother. =P

  8. Uh, actually – that would be “ballet bar” (complete with Margueritas?) and “stripper pole” um, not that there’s ever been any, err… exotic dancing my way through college or anything. (SHHHH. That’s how rumors get started.)

    Marguerite. Now there’s a nice floral and multilingually limber name… not as good as Amber, stripper-wise.

    Now, as to the interior design elements of installing a stripper pole in your boudoir or even the babes’ rooms, it’s a whole other story. And here’s where you need to get yourself to a friend’s house with a TV and Millionaire Matchmaker, so you can see just how dumb a living room looks with a Stripper Pole in the middle. (Sex Toy Dave was the one with the stripper pole, and didn’t think it might, um, impact the seriosity-factor of his intentions as he looks for a good woman to marry.)

    So, since you already snagged Mr. B, and he obviously must know about your exotic dancing dreams, I say go for it! And until you can install one of your own, there’s always the local fire station, though the girth of that pole may be a wee bit off for your purposes.

    • Yes, B has always encouraged me to chase after my dreams.

      When I see Marguerite, my mind drifts to Ever After’s villain. She was very sexy. Maybe I should pursue that name instead?

      I bet I could find an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker on-line. Perhaps a stripper pole wouldn’t be the classiest furnishing. But who said I was classy? : )

  9. Someone asked me what my goal is as a parent last night at a party and I said, “to keep my son out of the pen and my daughter off the pole.” You wouldn’t believe the shocked looks I received, but I totally thought of you! 🙂

    Also, leave it to BLW to know the intricate ins-and-outs of stripper — I mean, ballet — bars!

    • And, Kelly, I bet they were thinking “that’s exactly where I want my kids to go!” I know that’s my goal for my children. Shoot for the..er…sleaze!

      Maybe that’s where BLW began yearning after shoes? : )

  10. Nicki

    I have a good friend who use to be a stripper. And, no, her name is not Amber.

    You should check out exercisetv.com. I am sure there is a chair routine that will work for you and Mr B without the expense of renovations for a pole. 🙂

  11. You are cracking me up tonight Amber! I can almost hear your giggles coming through my computer screen!
    Can’t wait to read some little bits about you that I don’t already know and to learn your kids names. (wink wink). 🙂

    • How do you know me so well? Are you sure we haven’t met before? Hah!! Giggling I was. What can I say? Sometimes I am so darn clever. : )

  12. Indeed you are halfway there 🙂

    Of course I am now thinking about the metaphorical implications of this great post. Is blogging metaphorical stripping? I think so. On our blogs, we are on stage, dancing for strangers, slowly, seductively peeling away layers, revealing truths…

    • Indeed, that is a blog. I certainly feel more unclothed, since starting my blog, than ever before. Yet, in the process of baring my soul, I am finding myself.

  13. Amber, you naughty little minx! I’m betting Mr B. is strapping on his tool belt right now, ready to install that thing!

    • I don’t think I’ve ever been called a “minx” before! Ah, I love firsts! : ) Mr. B started working as soon as I said the word. He loves …. entertainment. : )

  14. No, no! Never wanted to be a stripper. I have too many body image issues for that ( comes with being curvy in an era called the 80’s when they wanted girls to have dimensions that were 24-24-24). But….I have always wanted to be a pole dancer! LOL!

    HA! I made it over here. I told you I would!!! 😀

    • So glad to see your here, Wild! My body image issues are null when it comes to my husband. I am lucky in having such a great guy who loves me and my body.

  15. Fun post Amber. I love your honesty!

    • Ha! I am glad you are still reading despite this post! It really was all in jest. Sometimes I have a wicked sense of humor. I know, I am working on it before my kids get too big!

  16. I have never thought such a thing. Um, or looked into buying hooker boots. No, not ever, ever, sometimes.

    By my name (although I love it) I should be the ugle friend of a beautiful Austen character who marries the dull man. I think I’d go with stripper.