The Rapids

I’ve been floating easily along this parenting river,  lazily dipping my hands and feet in the clear, cold water when I started to feel overheated.  My inner tube, constructed out of patience, joy, and confidence, held my lithe body as I used my hands and feet to work through the little snags that occasionally threatened to halt my progression.  I didn’t anticipate the rapids that were waiting for me around the next corner.

When I reached them, I managed very well at first.  I stayed calm as I turned my inner tube this way and that, avoiding the rocks and other debris that attempted to throw me out of my vessel and into the water.  But my shortsightedness failed to see the big rock slightly covered by the raging rapids.

I hit it at full speed and fell, tumbling into the dangerous cold water.


Andrew has cried for much of the day the last 2 weeks.

At first,  I did very well.  I held him in my rocking chair and softly sang his favorite lullabies.  When he would sleep, I would hurriedly clean and make dinner.

Until this week.

This week,  Andrew’s naps have been sporadic.  I put him down and he begins to whimper.  His whimper turns into cries which abruptly become piercing screams if he is not picked up immediately.  It is like post-colic colic.

I hit that rock last night.

After battling his cries all day, I thought he would finally sleep when the evening came.  My hopes were dashed as he started another round.

I looked at him and told him to stop.  Not very motherly, huh?

Ben heard my tone and glanced up from his notebook.  Something in my appearance must have frightened him because he came over and took Andrew from my arms.  He sent me to bed, promising he would take care of our little guy.


I catch hold of my inner tube,  clinging to it for dear life.  My legs and arms are covered with scratches and bruises.  My head hurts from the fall.  But,  I am safe.  I am safe!

The tube guides me to safety.  I land on the riverbank and begin to sob.  My heart is full of gratitude.


I know Andrew will feel better soon.  It is going to be rough until he gets there.  Still,  when I see his face and hear his cries, my heart aches for my poor little guy.


I am making my rounds around the net.  It will take me awhile to catch up with all of your delightful blogs,  but I am coming.

As for my 10 things list?  I will be completing it shortly.  Sometimes I must roll with the twists and turns of my life.  This is one of those times.



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19 responses to “The Rapids

  1. Oh my gosh, if I don’t get enough sleep, it usually ends up in me crying about something and my hubby sending me to bed. I’ve learned that sleep is the most important thing in keeping me a happy mama.
    Poor little guy! That is a LONG long time to cry, and I can imagine the patience wearing thin, I know it would for me…
    So don’t feel bad you tumbled off for a minute – I don’t blame you, and I’m glad you had a great husband to take over for you!

  2. Oh, honey, hang in there. Definitely a hard stage…I remember it well. I’m so glad your husband spells you now and then.

  3. Definitely rough waters sometimes. Hold on tight. 🙂

  4. I love the metaphor of parenting as rocky rapids and our coping mechanisms as our inner tubes. I hope that Andrew feels better soon and that you find a way to hold fast to your tube. May it be buoyant!

  5. Get some sleep! (And then read my post today. It’s perfect for you. Well, um, and me. And many of us of the mother persuasion. At any stage.)

  6. Good for hubby to step in…you need to be nutured as well!

  7. unabridgedgirl

    This was very well written. I am sorry that your little guy is doing the post-colic-colic thing, and I’m sure you’ve already tried things like the Lavander Baby Bath? I know that helped my nephew. Best wishes, Amber.

  8. So glad your husband was able to help you out in that moment. I think we all go through that. I have a 5 month old and a 2 year old right now. Sleep deprivation makes for short tempers if we don’t have the opportunity to recharge ourselves. These snags are normal; don’t beat yourself up too much about it. I hope your little one gets better soon!

  9. I’m so sorry. That can be so, so hard. I’m so glad your husband was willing to step in for a little while. I truly hope he starts sleeping better and calms down soon.
    Take care of yourself. I’ll mail you chocolate if I need to!
    Just let me know.

  10. Huge hugs, Amber. Hang on tightly to that innertube. You’ll be in calmer waters soon.

  11. That’s exactly what husbands are for. I remember almost shoving Miss D. at him when he got home sometimes. I think I might have even said, “Take it,” more than once.

    And he did. And I took a nice long bath.

    Think of hubs as your pinch-hitter. And don’t blame yourself for needing a break. xoxo

  12. Eva

    Hang in there, Amber. I sending a little “extra energy and patience” karma your way…

  13. This is eerie. Claira has hit the same stage and it’s miserable. So hard to comfort her and the constant crying is exhausting. And I miss her long, long naps that she used to take. I hit the rock this morning and burst into tears. Neil called our retired neighbours who came and took all three girls for half the day so I could sleep and recuperate. If it weren’t for that…not sure how I’d be doing right now…

  14. Thinking of you…
    We’ve been through those rapids, and continue to drift through the quiet part – at this moment. But it’s soon to change I’m sure!
    You can do this. And it will get better 🙂

  15. Amber, this is also the time period when he’s been so sick, so it’s been especially hard, I’m sure.

    We’ve all had those moments where it’s like, why can’t he just stop crying? Maybe if I tell him? Too bad babies aren’t so logical!

    Glad you got a break. It is hard work staying home with young kids all day.

  16. Nicki

    Get sleep when you can, Amber. You will all come through this! Healing, sleepy thoughts coming your way – for you and all your family!

  17. Good luck. I hate finding I’ve hit rapids unready again. I believe (hope) I’ve gotten better at negotiating them, but that’s easy to say when the waters are calm.

  18. I’ve hit those… and i don’t even like to admit it to myself.. but a breath of release and relief that it doesn’t make you a bad mum when this stuff comes up and hits you.

    • You are so right. Every mother has hit these same rapids. It really is the endurance that counts.

      Thanks so much for stopping by! Hope to see you again soon!