I’ll Have A Guilt Sandwich, Please

I am feeling pretty full these days.  I have engorged myself frequently on a guilt sandwich.  Nothing like a guilt sandwich to make me feel deliciously bloated.  I don’t normally share recipes but I think I’ll make an exception for this case.

Start with two slices of household guilt.  This can be anything, like the dirty dishes, unfolded or dirty laundry, or a messy living room.  It makes it even tastier when you have extra thick slices.

Spread the household guilt with some tangy blog guilt–worries over unread e-mails from blog friends,  little to no time to comment on your favorite blogs, or not responding to comments.  Remember, the more the better.

Now for the best part: family guilt.  I usually double this.  You have many options to choose from–unmade phone calls to siblings, arguments with your parents, no time for you spouse, and doubts about your mothering capabilities.  I usually go for spousal and mothering guilt.  I like it hearty.

Top this with the condiments of your choice.  A slice of not keeping in touch with your friend here, a slice of unchecked tasks lists there, whatever suits your fancy.

Sprinkle this with some yummy self guilt.

Top all of this with the other half of your household guilt and you have yourself a delectable guilt sandwich.

I like to take humungous bites of this sandwich daily.  And, the best part is, unlike other sandwiches, the more bites I take the bigger it gets!

Yes.  I like me a big guilt sandwich.

Advertisements

44 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

44 responses to “I’ll Have A Guilt Sandwich, Please

  1. This is hilarious.

    You should stop with the blog guilt. It will harden your arteries and your sandwich will taste the same without it.

  2. You are such a creative writer, I love it. Yeah, I was going to say the same thing… don’t worry about us bloggers at all, we sure don’t want to contribute to that “yummy” sandwich.

    • Thank you Kristen!!

      The blog guilt derives from my appreciation of the relationships I have formed here! I want to stay in touch, to comment, to show you how grateful I am to be your friend. Make sense? But, I know that, like any true friendship, you all understand.

  3. I can relate, Amber. I feel guilty if I’m not up to date on my blogging buddies and then I feel guilty if I haven’t blogged! But there’s only one of me and, yes, a dirty house and a zillion other things to do. But here I am anyway, commenting on your blog!

  4. Maybe you should start eating salads :p

    Man, it’s hard sometimes though, to eat your sandwich without sprinkling a little guilt in between the layers. We wear so many hats that they are bound to topple off the head every now and then. But don’t feel too guilty. For everything we say “no” to, we say “yes” so something else…

    • Wow. You are right–“For everything we say “no” to, we say “yes” to something else. It’s kind of nerve wracking, isn’t it?

  5. I spread it on pretty thick sometimes too. I spread it right on a big fat piece of white bread. Great, now I have bread guilt. Ugh…

  6. Eva

    Amber, this is (oddly) one of my favorite posts lately. It’s just a perfect metaphor, and your writing is superb. I can practically taste my own version of guilt sandwich.

    Guilt is on my mind right now, because I made a decision I had been putting off. I told my little sister we weren’t going to be able to come see her high school musical. We’re just too busy right now, and can’t sacrifice a weekend away from home. Actually, that’s not completely true. We don’t WANT to go. We want to be home to enjoy spring. Visiting my family is so stressful, and I’m just not up to it right now.

    That guilt? Let it go. Just let it go. No one is thinking about it nearly as much as you are. The dirty dishes, the unread blogs, the phone calls yet to return – they can wait. Right now, all you need to be doing is being a mom to two beautiful kids. And we all understand that.

    • Thank you, Eva. I don’t think it’s odd at all! There are times when a certain post just resonates with us! I am grateful that this post did that for you.

      Sometimes family guilt is the worst. I completely understand your dilemma. There are times when I really don’t want to go home (like ALL the holidays) because I know how exhausting it is. I have friends, though, that go home every weekend. I’m still trying to figure out why they want to! I guess that every family is different, huh?

  7. Steve

    I read this post to your Mom last night and we both got a big kick out of it. 🙂

  8. Fabulous, I think we’re all partaking of that sandwich…you came up with the perfect name for it!

    • This post had been running through my head for a few weeks before I decided to write it down. I figured many people could relate to the imagery.

  9. unabridgedgirl

    * HUGS HUGS HUGS*

    Guilt is the worst. It really is.

  10. That sounds like a recipe most of us have tried (with some variations on the ingredients). It’s a supremely unpleasant dish and I’m sorry it’s on your menu. But very well written!

    • Thank you!! This was written with sarcasm and drops of truth. Yes, I feel this way, but I also know that basically every person has partaken of this sandwich on many occasions. It kind of wrote itself.

  11. Re: the family guilt–I laughed when you said, “I usually double this.” See, Amber? You are a recipe maven! Stellar effort there, girlfriend. (((hugs, though, really.)))

    • I learned from the best: You!!

      Don’t tell anyone, but I really can cook. I like to hide that fact in case someone asks me for a recipe. : )

  12. Kim

    This sandwich sounds horribly disgusting. Can I have a bite? Please?

  13. Don’t do it Amber!! Don’t do it!!!

    Quick, eat some chocolate!

  14. ck

    Great post!

    At least your guilt resembles food. I think mine goes right into the blood stream…

  15. No matter what I AM doing I feel guilty about the stuff I’m NOT doing – ingredients enough for a six-foot sub. 😉

  16. Great post today! I think we all do the guilt thing and it interferes with our abilities.

  17. Oh, the guilt sandwich! Always on the menu, isn’t it? I always like mine with a big hunk of the-dogs-aren’t-getting-a-walk-again guilt. Yum.

    • Yes, another dimension of the guilt sandwich: pets. I don’t have any but I know I would feel even worse if I did.

      Thank you SO much for stopping by! I am now adding you to my reader!

  18. I can so relate, although I’ve learned that some sandwiches are just not worth eating. Time to go on a guilt diet, you’ll feel lighter immediately!

  19. Clearly, we ‘enjoy’ the same foods! I’ve been eating a lot of that sandwich today. I think I’ve worried over EACH of the components you mentioned today alone. Sigh. Great post!

    • Thank you for visiting!!

      I have often asked (ummm pestered) my husband about his guilt. I know his is often different things, but he definitely does not worry about parenting things as much as I do. I wonder if mothers have this guilt hormone that starts flowing as soon as the baby comes.

  20. SO with you on the guilt sandwich. It’s the only thing I eat these days.

    • I think that guilt sandwiches are a favorite among mothers. We just can’t seem to get enough! It’s that parenting guilt!! It must be spiked with something…

  21. I totally relate to this wonderful post! For some reason it reminded me of a Shel Silverstein poem. (Random, I know…)

  22. jen

    I think it’s spring. It must be. Because every mom I know is feeling this way, particularly now. So, eat chocolate. Plenty of it. Sit quietly by yourself for 10 minutes (or 1 if it’s all you can spare, even if it’s in the bathroom). And take a deep breath. (My cure all.)

    • Thank you for that advice. I have been letting my little guy cry himself to sleep for nap time because HE WON’T SLEEP OTHERWISE. Yes. I am feeling a bit tipsy with all the guilt sandwiches I have been eating lately.

  23. Pingback: 10 Second Post « Making the Moments Count

  24. Hi Amber, I clicked over from Nicki’s Nook.

    Wow! How did you know what my reliable stand-by lunch is? I was mine down with a glass of yoga or if I have no space in my guilty tummy, with a cup of minute-long meditation.

    Glad I found you.

  25. Funny and sad at the same time, m’dear, and I so get it. All of it. The whole sandwich even.

  26. I am late to the party though I try so hard to be punctual. Luckily, I am dressed in guilt for the occassion. It sure is an ugly get-up and feels so icky on my skin. Really kind of gross like your guilt sandwich. Perhaps we should switch to eating chocolate (as mentioned above) while wearing cozy cotton pjs?