Little Livvy,

My natural inclination is to remark on your miraculous arrival into this world.  However, my mind keeps returning to a particular string of memories.

When I left for college, you were but a wee toddler.  You adored me before I went to college and promptly forgot about me when I left.  Yes, you heard me on the phone, but beyond that you only had words and small photographs to build up the evidence that I really existed.

Gradually, your little mind put the pieces together.  You realized I was part of your family.  You knew I was your sister.  The tricky part, though, was figuring out who my mother was.  My getting married and having a baby only confused you more.  I would come home amidst enthusiastic greetings.  After a day or so you would inevitably ask me where my mother was.  I would explain and explain, yet the concept was too foreign for your young mind.

As of last Christmas, you no longer questioned my origins.  You had grown up enough to realize we came from the same mother and father.  You were the aunt, albeit a young one, of my two babies.

In a way, I have regressed to that toddler you were.  I have only photos, videos, and webcam conversations to piece your character together.  Your growth is muddled by my conviction that you are still my baby sister.  Yes, you are the baby of the family, but you are no longer a baby.  You are a little lady.  The strong ruler of the family.  A miniature Queen Elizabeth.

The hard part is, you are growing up without me.  Yes, I see you here and there, but I can’t sit and read with you.  I don’t hear your stories about Kindergarten.  I watch you grow from photos.  I guess I figured I would always be around to guide you.

Even though I’m not physically there, I am still your older sister.  I am here to metaphorically beat up any person that wants to bully you.  Because that’s what older siblings are for.

Happy birthday dear sister.





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16 responses to “Little Livvy,

  1. What a beautiful girl, and a beautiful tribute to her. You are both so lucky to have one another. I wish I had a sister!

  2. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling young enough to be my child.

  3. Happy birthday, Livvy!

    My dad is twenty years older than his “baby sister” (now in her 40s). They grew to have an incredibly close relationship. I have a feeling you and Livvy might have one in store as well.

  4. Eva

    It’s difficult to be away, to watch them grow from afar. I’m so eager for my brother and sister to be “adults” – to develop an adult friendship with them instead of this big sister role I’ve always played.

  5. Sounds like your little ones are lucky to have Livvy for an aunt. “A little lady, strong ruler, mini Queen Elizabeth” … love the description! Maybe as a present you could get her one of those poofy, ruffly Elizabethan collars. =>

  6. I just read both of your lovely birthday tributes. You have a fabulous family.You are blessed.

  7. unabridgedgirl

    So cute! Amber, we seriously have to get together sometime for lunch. You know what’s funny, too? My siblings once referred to me as a Little Queen Elizabeth, since I am the youngest (and have red hair and brown eyes). I love your blog. It makes me all smiley.

  8. This is lovely.

    And a very happy birthday to your baby sister!

  9. Amber, I love these letters you post. They are really going to be treasured. Your family is so blessed with you.

  10. When I moved out for BYU my sister was 6. Now she is one of my best friends. Interesting journey!

  11. It’s wonderful that you’re able to be such a great role model to your sister about finding a good man and finishing college. I’m sure it’s tremendous fun for your kids to have such young aunts and uncles!

  12. Michelle

    This made me cry. She’s blessed to have you, and obviously, you are blessed to have her.

  13. I understand this feeling so well. My younger siblings have only recently come into our orbit and they are 10 and 12. It was so hard to feel like an older sister when they were so far away, even harder now that they are close geographically (though still far away emotionally).

    Your birthday wishes for your siblings are always so great. When do we get the break down on all these awesome people? There’s no second family/steps in there?

    • Hmm….Kelly you have given me a great idea on a future post!! All my siblings are from the same mother and father. I have 5 sisters and 4 brothers and am the second oldest of the clan.

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