Where are the Lemons?

I can’t find the lemons today, I think they made a run for it.

Perhaps they disappeared when my daughter dropped my phone into her cereal bowl. Or when she threw her food on the floor.  For the millionth time.

Maybe they hid yesterday,  after Emily threw all her crackers on the carpet and walked over them.  Repeatedly.  Or when she got into the laundry detergent while I was trying to nurse Andrew.

I think they decided to take off when Emily refused to go to bed and sat in her crib crying.  Until I couldn’t take it anymore.  Until I realized she was starving and felt horrible for not figuring it out sooner.

Perhaps they realized my mistake when I decided to read The Hunger Games in order to relax.  They could have at least warned me first.

I guess they could have been scared away when Andrew woke up screaming at 1:00 am and Ben told me it was time he cried it out.

I wish they would have shown up when I was still wide awake at 4:30.  Company would have been nice.

They probably ran away when Andrew woke up at 6:00.  They must have seen my frustration peak when I brought him into bed at 6:30.

I think, though, it really started with the dishes.  They surely realized my mistake in not cleaning up immediately following dinner.  I guess they recognized my exhaustion and decided against pushing it.  There is only so much I can do when I am facing these things alone.

I hope they come back soon.  This semester isn’t getting any easier.

*****

Congratulations to C at Kid Things for winning the copy of Aidan Donnelly Rowley’s novel, Life After Yes.  I know you will enjoy it!

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24 Comments

Filed under keeping the faith

24 responses to “Where are the Lemons?

  1. Eva

    Hang in there, Amber! Just one day – one hour, one minute – at a time. You can take this in stride.

  2. Sounds like a fun week! 😦

  3. Hang in there!

    It does get better … or so I’m told 😉

  4. Put the kids in their cribs, walk right outside your door, and take a couple deep breaths of fresh air. Just this past week I’ve locked myself in my bedroom for a few minutes of peace when I feel I’m about to lose it, and I’ve done it more than a couple times.

    The sleepless nights are SOOOO hard. Luke took forever to sleep through the night, and I got to the point where I was so frustrated with him not sleeping that I totally didn’t care if he screamed for hours in the night. But I’m sure my neighbors hated me. I hope he gets the idea really fast for you, for your sake!

    Good luck – hopefully you find those lemons here soon!! ~HUGS!~

  5. Those days are so dang hard to recover from. It’s as if things going that wrong makes it hard to remember them ever going right. Hope you’re able to break free soon.

    And Claira’s not sleeping through the night either. 12am and 6am last night, which was better than the night before. It’s so draining, isn’t it?

  6. I just have one child but remember how mind numbingly brutal those first months were, the lack of sleep etc and having another child to care for must make it all ten times as hard to deal with. A lot of my Mom friends have had second babies in the last year and every single one of them says that this is the case for them.

  7. Hang in there chica!

  8. When you find them, please tell me you’ll be making lemon drop shots … because it sounds like you could use a stiff drink.

    Also, just remember that in a few short days, you’ll be living it up at CBC

  9. Oh, sweet friend, just another time I wish we lived closer so we could hang out on days like this. Emily and Big Boy could destroy something together and Andrew and Tiny Baby could cry at each other when they wake up sick in the night. And you and I could work on finding lemons and then making lemonade out of them. Sending love. xoxo

  10. Baby steps. Baby steps. I am still learning this myself.

  11. I’ve had those weeks (months?) and they END. I promise. Until then, eat chocolate.

  12. I remember those days and would go back to them if I could.That is not to say that things are bad now, but I miss having a baby.

    41 sounds so old and yet I feel so young. Maybe it is the puppy that lives here and is busy destroying everything he can chew up.

    Hang in there, some weeks are sour.

  13. Bri

    You’re an amazing mama Amber! I idolize you! When I read your posts I can tell how much you love your little ones! You are constantly sacrificing for them and for Ben. The service you give is so beautiful! You are an exceptional example of womanhood and don’t you forget it!

    I know you’ll find those lemons and make some of the sweetest lemonade around. When your kids taste it, they’ll feel so sweet that they’ll shower you in kisses and smiles until all the sudden you’ll completely forget about the lemons except for the sun shining like a giant lemon in the sky. Here’s to brighter days ahead (sips giant glass of Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade — the best kind).

  14. I wish I could say the sleepless nights end when infancy or toddlerhood does. As the parent of teens, um… there are plenty of years in there when a good night’s sleep is possible. So you have that to look forward to. And then, not so much. Big kid worries to keep you up even if they’re sleeping. Kids and cars. Kids and everything else they can – and do – so naively get themselves into.

    And more. More that breaks you down. More that cracks you up. More that keeps you up realizing how fortunate you are to have the children you do.

    I wish I had some lemons to lend you – for those – and everything else that seems to go missing along with sleep and peace of mind. And company.

    You will make lemonade. As soon as the lemons turn up. And meanwhile, here we are. And we understand. And maybe you aren’t quite so alone. Some of us are also up at 1, and 4, and 6… looking for sleep, if not lemons.

  15. Melanie J

    It seems like every day was like this with Grant for two months. And then all of a sudden on Monday, he decided to revert back to the sweet wonderful baby he’s been for two years. I don’t know what flipped the switch, but I’m grateful. Hang in there!

  16. Aw lady…that’s a bad night. I hope you get some rest soon.

  17. I hear ya. For different reasons, I hear ya.

    And I love ya, too. Hang in there.

  18. Sounds like a rough day 😦 I hope you are able to have some lemonade soon 🙂

  19. Sorry about that, Amber. Sounds like you’ve got the lemons, just not the lemonade. And not really in the mood after a sleepless night taking care of two kids. On a positive note, it does seem that the good days are more numerous than the bad, right?

  20. I’m late to this post and so all I can say is I hope you had better days over the weekend. You know we all understand and wish we could make it easier for you. Deep breaths, a few moments of fresh air alone if you can. You are a great mama! But you must also be great to yourself however you can. Hugs to you.

  21. when you find those lemons, make some lemonade. Sounds like you deserve a refeshing glass.

  22. Take a deep breath. And another one. Wish I could say sleepless nights are going to end soon, but I am still up with my four year old. I have cleaned out monsters so many times at 3:00 a.m.

    I am sending you some virtual lemons and a hug. I always tell myself this too shall pass.

  23. Autumn

    You should have asked me about that book! It’s enough to stress anyone out! But I love it.

  24. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner for you when you wrote this. I’ve been having many of the same days you describe… also looking to make some lemonade from the MANY lemons I have lying around. I hear you on all of it. And we’re all in this together. Commiserating and understanding. And as awful as that day was… the next is ALWAYS better.

    xo