Insanity Is My Middle Name

I want to have six children.   I have always wanted a big family, and when Ben and I got married, we agreed that six sounds like a nice number.  All right, we actually wanted more initially but my first pregnancy kind of scared us.  Besides, I want to be done before I turn thirty.  Yeah, before. I have plenty of reasons behind my choice, but I’ll limit it to the top five.

1. Youth.  Frankly, pregnancy is difficult.  Since I have a family history of pregnancy complications, I am hoping that starting and finishing young will keep them away.

2. Money.  Since we don’t have money, our options are limited.  It’s great! I don’t worry about setting up a nursery, buying cool toys, or getting new clothes.  I shop at used stores and set up the Pac N’ Plays in our tiny second bedroom when new babies arrive!  The awesome thing is, the babies don’t care.  Heck, they’d sleep in a box if I let them.  (Which I don’t.  Obviously.)

3.  Travel.  We don’t travel (reason # 2) But, because we are young (reason #1), the last kid will leave the house by the time we are fifty.  Fifty. That leaves Ben and me plenty of time for world traveling.  And we will even have money to spend.

4. Education.  I graduated with my bachelor’s degree and plan on pursuing a Masters sometime in the future.  Because I am young (reason #1), my options are not limited.  Once Ben is established in his career, the kids will have started school, and I will have time to attend classes.

5. Health.  My body bounces back quickly after each pregnancy.  It helps that I only gain 15-20 pounds.  (Hyperemesis Gravidarum does have its positive points.)   I actually weigh less now than before I was married.  I know that as I age, this may change, but I am counting on reason #1 to keep my body in line.

Ahh, who am I kidding.  The real reason is that I want more just like these two.

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35 Comments

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35 responses to “Insanity Is My Middle Name

  1. I always wanted six too. I have four now. It doesn’t look like we’ll make it to six. It will be a miracle if we can get five. Infertility after having four babies is a little strange and doctors think you’re crazy when you go in for tests and you are 32 with four children already.

    Six is a great number. I myself am one of six children. Which is, of course, why it’s such a great number.

    • Jenna,

      My plan to have six is something that could possibly change. Infertility and health issues may dictate a different direction. I have seen this happen to many of my friends (including you). I guess that time will tell what happens!

      I come from a family of ten. Unfortunately, unless I have multiples, ten would put me way past 30. : )

  2. I love your outlook on family, and give you so much credit for going for six! The more babies the better… except for me… 😉

    • You know your family and your situation better than anyone! I think that all kids are wonderful, whether you have one or ten! This is my dream, much like a person’s dream to become a firefighter or a lawyer. I really have always planned on a big family. I guess I’ll find out whether that actually happens!

  3. I think one more and I’m good. Although, six *is* a nice number 🙂

    • Haha! I don’t really know where 6 came from, it just seemed right. Kind of hard to explain.

      You go for that one more, lady. You are one AWESOME momma. Any kid is lucky to have you as their parent!

      • Aww! WIth a fan club like you, I just might be able to do it and keep sane!

        Tell you what. When you’re on #6, we’ll go neck and neck to the finish line 🙂

  4. I am totally behind on the baby curve. I didn’t plan to be in my early 30’s before having kids, but sometimes, things just work out that way.

    • Kristina, what is this baby cure you speak of? I think that a baby curve is of your own making. Sometimes life dictates what happens despite what he had originally planned for. As I said, I am lucky to have started young. But I have no idea of what might happen. Heck, this whole idea is based around the assumption that I have perfect fertility. Since that is statistically impossible, I guess I’ll see how far I am by the time I reach thirty. And if we have the money, I would be happy to adopt.

  5. How could you not want more of those beautiful little people 🙂

    I totally get where you are coming from on this, despite being the opposite of the spectrum with my choices. I think either have children young or wait until you are older is a great way to do it. For me, I just had to get some living done first, travel, have the education, profession and career, live in different countries etc. Yes, then you do really realize all you are giving up when you have kids, but you don’t regret it because you’ve kind of “been there, seen that, done that.”

    But having children while young means as you say they will be gone when you are my age, you will have wisdom AND so much experience to work with (wish I’d had experience of negotiating with a toddler behind me when dealing with whiny CEO’s about budgets because trust me although they never won in the end they would have stood absolutely NO chance of even getting a word in if I had!).

    But six children……if you don’t know my friend Nicki over at Surviving Little People check out her blog and chat to her some time. She has six and plans to eventually end up with eight and her life is full, full, full!

    • My thoughts exactly! 4 more of them and I think I’ll be set. Maybe. : )

      Family planning is such an individual decision. I didn’t originally plan on having two so close together and so soon, but once it happened I figured I might as well make the most of it!

      For me, motherhood has always been my dream. It was something that I contemplated much while growing up. Thus, traveling and career were never something that kept my interest. I knew that those could come after I had my family. That was right for me.

      Your choice, as you mentioned, was perfect for you and your guy. It gave you the chance accomplish your goals. Either way, we have reached the same destination.

  6. There is that cute little boy!!! I always thought I would have 6 sons. I had feelings about it from the time I was a teenager. But I had 4 sons and a 6 year gap between the first tow and the last two. Plenty of room for those other two. I sometimes wonder why.

  7. Well, Amber, you’d better get cracking on number three right about now to have him/her at age 24, right?

    I liked growing up in a big family but, of course, it was all I knew and even to this day I can’t imagine anything different. When all seven of us are together it doesn’t really feel like seven. Does it feel like that with your family?

    • Hahahah! Maybe we are already trying. ; )

      Yes. I feel exactly the same way. It would seem that 10 would be a big number, and even bigger when you include spouses and grandchildren, but it still doesn’t seem that big when we get together. Like you said, it is all I’ve ever known!

  8. Yeah, I get the whole no-money thing, and all my kid’s clothes and toys are totally from their grandparents. Not even kidding. I don’t think I’ve bought ANY clothes for my kids except for a few outfits. And they both slept in pack-n-plays and are just fine! I think some parents go a bit overboard, but that’s just me…

    My hubby and I wanted 4… but then kids came along and we discovered how much work it was… So he would be fine at the 2 we have now, but I still wanted 4, so we are compromising on 3. Sounds simplistic when I say it that way, but we’ve had long discussions about it, and I think BOTH people have to agree and feel comfortable about the number. So that is great your and your hubby agree.

    And I am so glad I have my 2 close together, just like you did. If I had to do it all over again, I’d do it the same way!

    • Uh, yeah, all our kids clothes are from their grandparents as well. We usually wait until the LAST possible second to buy anything for them because we never know when something will arrive in the mail!

      I think that you and I are lucky that our kids are so small, it means they can stay in their Pac N’ Plays for a looooooong time (at least mine will!).

      Having two definitely made me rethink my whole big family thing but now that our chaos has diminished, and I have finally figured out how to manage the kids, it is much easier to imagine a big family again.

  9. Looking at those pictures I just want to say a fervent amen. How could you NOT want more?

  10. Adorable photos :). My best friend wants 7. I don’t think I can handle more than 2 (which means I’m done) though my husband wants like, 5. I agree with you on the age thing though. I’m glad that I had mine so close together because when the youngest turns 18 I’ll be a fresh 41 🙂

  11. I wish I could have had more too, but it wasn’t in the cards for me. I hope it works out for you. You are a wonderful mother!

  12. Steve (Dad)

    Yay Ben & Amber! More power to you!

  13. Brave, brave woman! But I’m certain you would make a great mom to a large family because you just get what it’s really about. Me, I’m terrified at the idea of a third, but I can’t quite give up. Not yet…even though I”m into my 30s 🙂

  14. Eva

    Wow. I’m almost speechless – in a good way. I think this just goes to show: some women are truly destined to be mothers. Motherhood is second nature. And that’s an amazing thing.

    Also amazing? That you found a husband who is absolutely on the same page as you!

  15. I love this post, and that you want to have six kids, and that you know why (and that you used money and fewer options as a reason. Especially that.).
    I’ve always wanted five – I’m the oldest of five, and I love the asymmetry of an odd number – and I think I still do, though it’s more a dream than a plan at this moment. There will be more (and more than one more).
    We travel, but we travel cheap and light. (Same goes for baby gear.)

  16. Wow Amber. I can barely hold my head above water with one. We are on the fence about having one more and I am in my mid-thirties. I am glad though that you and your husband have the clarity to know that you want 6 children. Those lovely pics that you posted at the end of your post doesn’t make the number 6 sound so bad. Good luck!

  17. They’re beautiful. You know I wanted more, but, that’s not how it ended up. And I’m thrilled to have had two healthy boys, especially since I married late and started late.

    Younger is definitely easier on the body. Not to mention, you won’t have their hormones and your hormones raging at the same time.

    😉

  18. I have always wanted more- but it wasn’t solely my choice. But since we got “stuck” with private school it has been easier with fewer kids.

    Still, I could do it again.

  19. Very cute kids, I don’t blame you at all. I think it’s great you want a big family, and I’m with you on being young when the kids leave! My wife and I are on the same track. However, # 4 slowed us down. #5 made us beg for mercy. We are done now!

  20. I will definitely say that being pregnant at 20 (baby #1) was physically much easier than pregnant at 30 (baby #5)! Good luck, my planning friend. 🙂

  21. Amber, I just gave you the Oh My Blog Award on my blog. Head on over there for the details!

  22. I’m an only child so even though my lucky number is 6, I can’t even fathom what it’s like to have five other siblings. However, both my parents come from larger families (7 and 8 kids respectively) and I enjoy the loud raucous celebrations with them.

    With me here by myself (they’re all in another country) and My Guy’s own small family, I hate to think that my daughter will never know what it feels like to be part of a larger family. We have plans for a second but unlike you, I do not have youth on my side.

    It’s great that you share a singular vision with your husband and those are great reasons that you listed. Especially the last one – cute kids are hard to resist!

  23. We want six kids too! But it can be so intense sometimes that on occasion, my husband wants to stop now.
    I want to be done by the time I’m 30 as well.
    And I hate pregnancy. 😀

  24. I did it. Number six was born 5 days before I turned thirty and I’m very happy with my decisions. I did it for most of the reasons you mentioned, too.

  25. Nicki

    I love the number six. You are right to do this while you are young. I was 32 when number six was born, turned 33 a month or so later. That pregnancy was hard.

    Good luck!!!

  26. They are beautiful. Originally, hubby and I both wanted four, and ended up having two. Had we followed our hearts we would have had four or more, but we thought it through thoroughly and for us two seemed more fitting for our lives and what we could offer them. But I did have them young, at 23 and 27, and I don’t regret that for a minute. Hoepfully, when and if I ever have grandchildren I will still have enough energy left to have fun with them and enjoy them. Kids are absolutely life’s greatest blessing.

  27. Awwwww!!! Those photos of your sweeties at the end totally made me smile! Children are such a gift from God. I hope you get to have as many as you want!