My plan of posting daily was foiled by sickness and travelling. We are home, thankfully safe and sound as inclement weather wanted otherwise, but the sickness is pervasive. We are all busy living in a haze of congestion, chills, and fevers.
Before I stopped, I had published every day, except one. A decent record, for sure, but did I really do what I set out to accomplish?
Writing daily became a habit. I set aside a block of time for myself, nightly, to sit and write.
Posting was more enjoyable. I wrote on a variety of themes, allowing my creativity to flow.
Giving myself a break each day provided me with the escape I needed from the incessant worries that accompany motherhood and solo parenting.
I am not satisfied with my writing. Many days, the posts seemed more like stream-0f-consciousness writing rather than organized, coherent, and cohesive thoughts with few grammatical and punctuation errors. My time, like so many people’s, is extremely restricted. If I choose to sit and write, I also choose to ignore the mess and continue living in a chaotic household–something I am not okay with.
While I did go outside of my comfort zone in small ways, I still kept within the confined zone. Struggling to find the perfect word choice/combinations, appropriate tone, and correct word usage has placed more than one important piece inside the drafts folder.
I did not find that niche of which I am looking. The subject that defines this place. I also found myself in a vulnerable position of confronting a truth I have been avoiding. A truth that will lead to more time and effort in order to receive adequate help.
I managed to break through the fog I had been living in by trying the NaBloPoMo challenge. In the process, though, I found another fog that will take longer to navigate. Something I’m not exactly prepared for but understand the necessity of facing it.
Perhaps I should dedicate this blog to figuring out pieces of myself as I venture further and further into motherhood and wifehood. It seems to be heading in that direction anyway.