My (Non)Thrifty Children

We have been on a budget for most of our marriage, but especially so after Ben graduated (hence the two jobs).  I thought I’ve taught my kids the importance of sticking to the budget.  Apparently I was wrong.

Just last week I explained to them that we needed to ration out our diapers and wipes.

“One diaper and ten wipes a day,” I said.

“Blahadadalelabladamamkama!” Andrew replied.

“I wanna drink!” Emily responded.

Alright, I thought, it will be smooth sailing from here on out.

Then they decided to get sick!  This more than quadrupled our diaper usage!  I couldn’t very well let them make messes on the floor, could I?  So I had to let them use more than their one diaper quota.

It’s even worse when we head to the store.

“Don’t touch anything!” I sternly warn them.

Before we are even down the first aisle, Emily has licked/bit on half the items.  I had only to buy milk, bread, and cheese, but by the time we head to the check-out stand, my cart is full from her diligent efforts at vandalizing my grocery budget.  Naturally, once I am loading all her groceries onto the conveyor belt, she grabs all the candy from the display, rips them open, and begins chowing down on her stolen goods.

Between my kids’ out of hand diaper usage and Emily’s expensive grocery trips, I’ve already spent my allotted allowance.  And it’s only the first of the month.

I guess it’s back to the drawing board.



Filed under Offspring

23 responses to “My (Non)Thrifty Children

  1. Ah, the battle for the budget. I hate taking kids to the store. Hate it. Worst licked on item this year? A tie. And not the one I intended to buy for my dad. No. An ugly one. Not on sale.

    • admin

      A tie? Oh dear. I guess the only place I've taken Emily has been the grocery store, thankfully, so I have yet to buy a piece of clothing because of her licking obsession.

  2. I think it's fine to leave them at home alone. They should totally be able to manage on their own! 🙂

  3. I feel your pain. That's the reason why I've stopped taking my daughter with me to the grocery store. She demands for EVERYTHING and is too impatient to wait to get home first before tearing into them so we always end up with half-eaten items and ones that we never intended to procure in the first place.

  4. Alayna once bit through a mascara package and ruined the brush.

    Ah, the budget. I have such a love/hate relationship with that thing!

  5. It is so difficult to stick to a budget with kids! I used to stuff both of my girls in the cart, rather than let them walk. It's a pain, but it cuts down on the things they grab and throw into the cart. Maybe you could try bringing a snack, too. Maybe even something like a lollipop – that's exciting and will keep them occupied for a while.

    • admin

      Emily does ride in the cart with Andrew! She is just quick and sneaky! I guess that means I need to be quicker, huh?

  6. Is it bad that I'm laughing really hard?

  7. Two words: Duct. Tape.

    • admin

      Thinking of that really makes me laugh. Like hard. Emily would be screeching so loud if I tied her hands up! On the other hand…keeping her hands bound would mean less groceries…

  8. My daughter went through a phase where she would grab all the blocks of cheese she could manage and take a huge bite out of each one. I'll just say, we ate a lot of dairy during those few months. Hang in there!

    • admin

      Oh, yes, Emily would to if we lingered too long in the diary aisle. I'll admit that I find this stage to be alternately annoying and entertaining. Oh, and extremely disgusting.

  9. Janae

    drop the kiddies off at my house next time, seriously! You can get your shopping done and have some much needed alone time, win-win!!

    • admin

      I know I'm crazy, but I really do enjoy taking Emily to the store with me. She is hilarious when we leave, I just don't prefer her thievery. Ha!

  10. Those grocery stores really know how to market to kids. Everything at their eye level. Hard for them to resist.

  11. I'm thinking it's time for Emily to get a job. Door-to-door chocolate sales? (Frozen) lemonade stand?

    (Smiling. Can't help it. It only gets worse, you know. But they're so lovable, even sick and messy and precocious, somehow, we just keep trucking…)


  12. Oh!! You are so funny! And a good sense of humor is priceless beyond diapers…

  13. I would love to know how those people do it who say they only spend $100 a month!! Our groceries are crazy expensive!

  14. Melanie Jacobson

    Yeah, I'm with Kimberly on this one but I think rope, not duct tape. That way it doesn't hurt when you untie her.

  15. I'd like to tell you it gets easier as they get older, but….

    Hang in there, mom ; )