The Past and the Present

I’m in a reflective mood today, aroused by looking at these photos of when my little ones were just a few days old.

My how time flies.  I know those newborn months can be hard; very long nights and sometimes even longer days can really pull on a mom.  Yet I want to have those days again.  With another baby.   My fear of pregnancy hasn’t waned, it’s that my desire for another baby has waxed stronger until it overcame the dread of another miscarriage.

I think I am ready to try again.  Any encouraging words?

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20 Comments

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20 responses to “The Past and the Present

  1. I think that you are stronger than ever and that you can do this, no matter what happens. I honestly do.

    Those baby pictures almost make me want another, too!

  2. I have no great words, just hope for you.

    Find joy in the process. (Now that sounds bad, but I hope you know what I mean. It can be grueling to be on the pregnancy rolled coaster.).

    I'm struggling with my own desires – I think I want more, but.. but.. but… I question my strength. I'm tired. But those babies I held. Oh. I love that early stage. Time moves differently. My boundaries collapse and expand. And… Oh… Well. We'll just see.

  3. Melanie Jacobson

    Just make sure you're in a good place with your counseling and meds and you're going to be fine, no matter the outcome. Especially with prayer. Having said that, I know SO many women who even after several miscarriages end up carrying several babies to term and have entire passels of four or more bobbing along happily in their mothers' wakes. Your body has shown you twice that it knows how to do this. It will do it again. Prepare for the madness of baby #3!

  4. Oh, Amber. This post pulls at my heart strings. I came late to mothering – and adored it. You know already that I would've loved more children, but I'm most grateful and most fortunate to have my two healthy boys.

    You have surely been tested in the past year, but you are a woman of enormous strength. I think you'll know – you and Ben will both know – when you are ready. I wish all good things – and many healthy babies – to come.

    Sending love.

  5. Bravo! Sending you lots of love. I'll live vicariously. xox

  6. Teeny tiny baby pictures always get me!

    Wishing you luck, and love, and blessings.

  7. You will know when the time is right Amber. By acknowledging your fear here, I believe that you are probably more ready than you think you are.
    Those baby pics are precious. I can smell the newborn freshness by looking at those sweet faces. Hugs.

  8. Aww.. Amber! 🙂 you make such beautiful babies. I think that's wonderful that you are ready to try again…My thoughts and prayers are with you! 🙂

  9. Always follow your heart. And study that one talk called "But If Not…". Move forward with faith, and the assurance that no matter what, that faith can and will remain in tact.

    http://classic.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,…

  10. Trust yourself. If you feel it's right, then it's right. And happy baby makin'!

  11. Just don't think about how the cute little baby might stab you in the middle of the night.

  12. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith…

  13. I'm with Kelly. Trust yourself. Trust your body and your spirit and listen to what it has to say. Good luck and big hugs.

  14. Beautiful photos, Amber. You know, I didn't have my second until my son was almost 7 years old. Now that Miss M is 6, I've started having those "what if" feelings again… What if we had just one more? LOL! But we've already decided that two is our max (and hubby's already had "the Snip"), and I'm okay with that. I'm just saying I know how you feel – especially when you look back at baby photos and you can almost smell them.

    Like others have said, you will know when it's right. I wish you and Ben all the very best! xoxo

  15. The cravings to have babies are stronger than any other kind of craving. Things dont have to be perfect for you to be ready, but you should feel strong and prepared. Best of luck.

  16. Janae

    I've been there Amber and I think what got me through (not discounting all the REAL hard emotions) was how I viewed miscarriages as a whole. To me a miscarriage is just the body naturally saying "whoops this body isn't perfect, lets try again and get a perfect little body for this spirit" So with that I say, TRY AGAIN! sometimes it takes a few times for the body to get it right, Love you!

  17. Visualize what you know you want. And trust in yourself, as I know that you can. You'll have much support along the way, no matter the path.

  18. (Found you through Diapers and Divinity)
    I feel really emotional reading these comments. Just hearing how people are supporting you in your trials, and how some of them seem to understand miscarriage, it's touching. I've been there, too. I had a miscarriage when we were trying for our third. It was unbelievably hard for me. Anyways, I am really looking forward to following your blog and finding out about your life that I so identify with. Thanks.

    • admin

      Amber, I am so very glad you clicked on over. I really value getting to know new people and learning about them and how they work through trials. Thank you for visiting so that I have the opportunity to meet you.

  19. Does, "I think you're awesome!" count as encouraging words?