After I went public with my disaffection/break/discontent (whatever you want to call it) from the Mormon church–the church of my upbringing–I have had conflicting feelings. On the one hand, I want to talk about my experiences because it shaped me as a child and continues shaping me as I grow older. (My entire mindset is Mormon–I see things from a Mormon worldview; I view religion-related things from a Mormon perspective; and many of my friends are/were Mormon.) On the other hand, I do not want to isolate those who continue to believe in the tenets of Mormonism and, in my mind, religion in all its forms. It isn’t that I am trying to convince people to join me in my agnosticism/atheism, it’s that I am working through my past beliefs in order to integrate them into the person I am now and the person I am becoming.
I don’t feel I am being anti-Mormon, but understand the Mormon mindset which makes certain topics uncomfortable. But, to be frank, it isn’t just Mormonism that I have issues with. It is God, Jesus Christ, the scriptures, and the history of all Judeo-Christian religions. I am open to exploring different religions and am also open to opinions that are different from my own. Heck, if you have an experience that is or was similar to mine, and you stayed faithful to whatever religion you currently are, tell me about it!
However, you are formally warned that I will be sharing my religious experiences and why I feel the way I do now. It will be thoughtful and may also be hard to read. So if you are uncomfortable with that and wish to say something that is not conducive to respectful conversation, do so at your own risk. That is to say, I will not respond to hurtful comments. In fact, I will delete your words forever. At the same time, I have a forgiving heart. Just be respectful to me and my views (and, by all means, disagree with me!) and I will be respectful to you.
All this is a lengthy explanation for my new Facebook rules. I will be trimming down my current friends to those who are close friends and/or relatives. I will not be talking about my religious angst, my political opinions, or anything that might be controversial on that account. Instead, I have opened a new account that is dedicated to all the above plus a few other things that I will discuss a little later in this post. You are welcome to friend me. I am not picky and will accept everyone, who is not crazy and/or a friend whore, who asks. I might seek you out because I am interested in what you have to say. Again, you can find that new account here. If you are not into that sort of thing, you are also welcome to “like” my blog. It won’t be nearly as fun as my new account, but will apprise you of new blog posts.
My second piece of business is more momma-related. Y’all know that I struggle with intense mental illness, right? (If you don’t, where have you been?) (Kidding.) As I am figuring out how to handle it (yes, my medication does not make it all better, I must do other things to keep me level), I realize that most of my current stress comes from being a mom. To two toddlers. To help me see the bright side of some crazy days, I will be posting quotes and/or experiences from the day to my new Facebook account‘s wall. So if you are annoyed by that kind of thing, be warned. It is something I realize helps me see things in a less hazy way. I love my kids. Oh I love them. But mental illness often clouds my perspective and I need a metaphorical Windex-like product to wipe my windows clean. And this is the idea that came to me. So I’m going to try it.
Numero three. I am revamping my weekly supporting parents write-up. Look for more details soon.
And finally, I am taking a short break to recuperate and tackle this enormous to-do list I have. I will most likely continue reading your blogs but need some time to gather my own thoughts before returning to writing. This whole exploration of my new feminist/religious/philosophical self is exhausting. Literally, I pass out every day quickly because my mind is teeming with information, comments, ideas, etc. Also, my to-do list is full of things with actual deadlines. Deadlines that are coming up real fast. Yikes. So I must dedicate more time to completing these tasks (which include some exciting new adventures, I’ll keep you posted) before the end of the month. I will continue with the Supporting Parents posts because I really do believe in my original idea and because it helps me look over my parenting with an objective magnifying glass.
If you are still reading this long post, kudos to you.