Last night, a little before picking me up, Emily told Ben that she did NOT want me to hold her. When I got into the car, she gave me the look of death and ultimately rejected any of my attempts to speak to her.
After we got home, she opened up and let me hold her. In fact, she didn’t want me to stop holding her. She refused to sleep until one or both of us were next to her, rubbing her face and hair.
Emily wasn’t alone in this new practice, her brother also refused to sleep until I went in there and rubbed his back.
I remember how frustrating practices like these once were for me. Ridiculous thoughts like, “they are doing this on purpose! Don’t they know I need a break from them?” would pop into my head throughout the entire process.
I still have moments of mounting annoyance by certain aspects of the kids’ bedtime routines–like when Emily empties out the dressers because I have locked the toys away–but, overall, I am happy when I get to spend a few more minutes with my kiddos.
These emotions increase when they climb into bed with us. Snuggling with my two kids is my favorite time of night. So, even though my kids technically don’t sleep through the night, or stay in their own beds, I gladly welcome them into our room and bed so we can all enjoy a good snuggle session underneath the warm covers. It reminds me that Emily does love me, even when she feels frustrated by my new status as a working mom. It also tells me that she just needs more love.
Don’t we all?