After a considerably hard weekend, I decided to take two days off from work. Sickness and pain were my nemeses and I had only one remedy: sleep. I also made some dietary changes and limited my food to saltines and soup with the occasional sandwich. For whatever reason, these switches have positively impacted my after miscarriage stuff. While I am still feeling slightly ill, the back pain is almost gone and my mind is just about free of fog.
It’s strange, really, to have these excessive emotional highs and lows–to go from hating life to feeling excited for tomorrow. Hell, I’ll take the positives, they keep me going and my world incredibly interesting. Eh, I guess I can handle the lows if they make life exciting and this couldn’t be possible if there isn’t one (or two, or 10) sh***y day a week. I know because my Guide to Life says so.
(What is my Guide to Life? Well let me tell you. Nah, I’ll just redirect you.) (This book is on a pedestal in my household and we read from it religiously. RELIGIOUSLY I say. It’s my replacement bible.)
(Speaking of the bible, Emily comes home singing new Christian songs that she has learned in preschool about once a week. My favorite is God Is Great. She sings this every meal time while Ben and I sit and laugh. It’s just so darn cute! Also, she doesn’t like it if I try to change the lyrics to “Emily is great!” or something similar. I guess she thinks I’m being cynical. Where would she get that idea?)
If my life were a musical, I would be singing “The Hills Are Alive” or “Defying Gravity.” If only I could attach wires from my brain to the TV so my amazing thoughts could be transmitted to the BIG SCREEN. Picture this: Me, in a beautiful dress, singing and dancing my way through life. It would be priceless. And entertaining. Mostly entertaining.
(Have I mentioned that Emily dances like a Hip Hop star? I guess my regular Zumba work-outs HAVE taught her something. Like how to shake her hips and booty. I feel slightly guilty in encouraging her but, frankly, it’s hilarious to see my 3-year-old shaking her thing better than most pop stars do.)
I return to work today and I feel like doing some jumping jacks–I am THAT excited.
Is this what feeling free–from anger–is like? If so, I really like it.