It is 5 AM and I have been awake since 3. Partially due to increasing nausea and my new obsession with this pregnancy, and partially due to excitement as I consider the future. I have so much to look forward to!
- Starting a master’s degree program (if I get accepted)
- Receiving my Zumba instructor certification
- Mothering my 2 (maybe 3!) beautiful children
- Loving on my incredibly sexy husband
As I look at my growing belly (that isn’t actually growing, it has just remained pregnant-like since my last miscarriage and when I gained that 20 lbs from birth control), I think of my two healthy children sleeping upstairs. The trials, the successes, the sadness, the joy, it’s all part of this parenting ride. While there are moments when I want to pull my hair out, I am learning that many of these come from my own insecurities and fears. The more I discover about myself–my strengths and weaknesses–the more content I feel when it comes to the many roles I play.
I still have much to improve on but I feel excited as I consider the many possibilities that positive change brings.
And so I am happy to announce that I am heeding all your advice and thinking of this pregnancy as a day by day experience. I will probably have many pokes and probes in the future, all of which determining how the pregnancy is continuing, and I am realizing there is no need in worrying over every little thing. That’s my doctor’s job. Instead, I will be joyful for the experience I have gained and intent on putting it to good use, whatever the outcome.