Five for Five was amazing last week, right up until Friday when my world – emotionally – turned upside down. Doctor’s appointment, messy house, 3 papers to write and I felt incredibly overwhelmed.
Rather normal in my life these days.
But besides all the busyness, I felt off. While I enjoy the subject matter of my program immensely, it feels wrong. Not the timing, but the program itself.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, the program is not academically rigorous enough for me. With my peers throwing around Newsweek and CNN like they are primary sources, my professors not interested in keeping the discussions academically centered and my grades impeccable (I think I’m averaging an A+ in all my classes), I am itching for something more. I want and need a program that challenges me on all levels and provides sufficient support to land internships, engage in research, and have the research tools handy to produce quality work; unfortunately, the school I am currently attending has been deficient in most of these areas. Thus, I have to choose: do I stay or do I go? Do I finish this program and risk not landing a job in my field because I am not appropriately prepared? Or do I wait a year and start another, more rigorous and more academically satisfying, program?
Each has its pros and cons. For one thing, I hate waiting AND have to take the GRE and ask for letters of recommendation (eck) AGAIN from my previous professors. Not looking forward to that. But, we are in a better place financially and geographically for me to apply for a program that is better suited to my goals.
Choices, choices. I have 2.5 weeks to decide and, in the mean time, I’m throwing around different options of what I would do during that year wait time. Work? Stay home? I am not sure.
Anyone want to decide for me? I don’t think I’m adult enough to do it myself.