Category Archives: Offspring

My (Non)Thrifty Children

We have been on a budget for most of our marriage, but especially so after Ben graduated (hence the two jobs).  I thought I’ve taught my kids the importance of sticking to the budget.  Apparently I was wrong.

Just last week I explained to them that we needed to ration out our diapers and wipes.

“One diaper and ten wipes a day,” I said.

“Blahadadalelabladamamkama!” Andrew replied.

“I wanna drink!” Emily responded.

Alright, I thought, it will be smooth sailing from here on out.

Then they decided to get sick!  This more than quadrupled our diaper usage!  I couldn’t very well let them make messes on the floor, could I?  So I had to let them use more than their one diaper quota.

It’s even worse when we head to the store.

“Don’t touch anything!” I sternly warn them.

Before we are even down the first aisle, Emily has licked/bit on half the items.  I had only to buy milk, bread, and cheese, but by the time we head to the check-out stand, my cart is full from her diligent efforts at vandalizing my grocery budget.  Naturally, once I am loading all her groceries onto the conveyor belt, she grabs all the candy from the display, rips them open, and begins chowing down on her stolen goods.

Between my kids’ out of hand diaper usage and Emily’s expensive grocery trips, I’ve already spent my allotted allowance.  And it’s only the first of the month.

I guess it’s back to the drawing board.

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