Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Why Blogs Need a "Like" Button and Other Completely (Un)Related Thoughts

Since I am horrible, no good, blogger, I am terrible at responding to comments.  I read all of them, and usually compose the best responses, but writing them out seems impossible. Especially with my many distractions–admissions essay, work, Facebook, kids, and my husband.

What I need is a “like” button for comments, then all of you will KNOW I read them, even if I couldn’t respond.


Recently, “i think i am the craziest person on the planet” search landed a person on my blog.  I hope they learned the truth that I am sole owner of that title.  Don’t you dare take it away from me.

I had other awesome search terms and carefully placed them in categories for you.

You Landed In the Right Place

“Make my husband last sarcastic” (Sorry lady/man, I can only help him become MORE sarcastic)

“sarcastic people have more illnesses” (Clearly)

“parenting fail” (after fail, after fail…)

“menu to gain 20 pounds in one month” (Hello! Birth control!)

“tired of being a mother” (I get it.)


“how do you install the oh birth control” (read the instructions!)

“real gay moments” (not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for here)

“making pee” (BECOME PREGNANT!!)

“gay love making” (no words)

Say it with me, “AWWWW!”

“support my husband for his medical school interview”

“closer i get to you 2011”

“blog post supporting duggar family miscarriage”

“little girl sweet kisses” (I’m going to assume this was innocent)


In lieu of boring you with updates on this pregnancy, I am using Facebook.  If you don’t have Facebook, and want boring updates, let me know and I will start an e-mail thingy.


We celebrated Solstice this year with a candle light dinner and toasts to celebrate light starting to increase daily.  It was awesome.


Emily thinks the Muppets on Sesame Street have penis noses.  What do you say to that?  She also told the nurse on our last visit that “Mommy is getting a baby today!” Sorry to disappoint you, girly, but it’s going to take longer than 5 weeks for that to happen.


Happy holidays to all of you! I hope you eat as much food as you want and think of me while doing so.  You can bet I would be glaring in your direction as you masticate on all those delicious entrées and desserts while I sit with my puke bowl in my lap and munch on Saltines in the hope that I won’t vomit.



Filed under Random Thoughts

Oh to Be An Astronomer

One of my favorite courses I took in my undergrad was Astronomy.  The physics, chemistry, and biology behind the formations of stars and planets fascinates me.  I’ve always wondered what would have happened had I tried to major in Physics rather than the major I chose; on the other hand, I am very passionate about the subject matter I studied.

Yet when I look at the night sky, I feel a fire burning within, encouraging me to delve deeper into the mysteries of the Universe.  To wrap my mind around the complicated Physics equations the Professor hinted at in the course I took.

Do you ever wonder what would have happened had you chose a different path?

*Image by nuttakit


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Celebrate Vacation, Come On!

Many of you are friends with me on Facebook and already know that I received a promotion at my job.  (And, if you aren’t friends with me yet, you really should be.  I’m pretty amazing.) A few perks include, full-time with benefits; paid sick leave; paid time-off; and, paid holidays.  This includes tomorrow–Veteran’s Day.  Yippee!

You know what I’ll be doing?  Sleeping. Yup.  I’ll be using this much-needed break to sleep and, um, sleep.

So I’m signing off until tomorrow.  When I wake up, fully rested.



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I Blame My Hair

I remember when I was young and care-free.  I would wake up, work-out, shower, eat breakfast, blow-dry my hair, and all those other things to make myself beautiful.  I loved the mornings.  I didn’t like to get up, per se, but I did like the feeling of waking before the birds and completing tedious tasks long before I needed to set out to work or class.  I felt accomplished and I did my hair.  Every day.  No exceptions (ok, unless I didn’t wake up early).

Around the time of my third miscarriage, I had grown to hate that hair styling tool meant to blow dry my hair into beautiful locks.  It never did.  Instead, I would labor in front of the mirror getting sweatier by the minute, blowing that darned heat in the direction of the wet mop on my head and willing it to style my hair so I wouldn’t have to use the straightener.  Alas, my wavy tresses made that impossible.  And my kids made the task not only tedious but life-threatening as they attempted to touch the socket, grab the hot straightener, and cause all kinds of havoc with their sweet, little hands.

I decided to shower and work out at night.

Once we arrived in MO, and started medical school, things shifted yet again.  With Ben’s schedule changing weekly, there are nights he is at home and nights he is gone and no advanced warning as to which it will be.  It fully depends on his homework load and his studying pace.  As my love for mornings dwindled with each pregnancy, I have scorned the thought of getting up before my children.  Surely there would be opportunities to workout and shower at night.  But here we are, 2 months into our routine, and I still don’t have a routine.

Did any of you read NPR’s article entitled “Prioritizing Health or Hair?”  I am sure the idea in this–that women are choosing their locks over their health–caused quite a few guffaws from educated readers.  Unless they were moms.  I mean, who has time to exercise AND look beautiful?  When I actually find the energy to straighten my hair, do you really think I’m going to ruin it by exercising?  Heck no.

For many of you readers, you must remember me bemoaning the 20 lbs I gained from birth control.  I ditched the evil pill and am now contending with the extra weight.  Clearly I must decide between styling my hair and exercising–it’s one or the other folks.

I think I might go back to AM exercising.  My kids don’t wake up at night so I really don’t have an excuse for limited Z’s until I remember that IT’S THE MORNING.  Who wakes up just to sweat in the morning?

So I blame my hair for my extra weight.

Until I remember that I don’t do my hair, either.  Drat.

Heather has asked that we just write. So I did. You can too.


Filed under Random Thoughts, Uncategorized

Closing Shop and Other Housekeeping Items

After I went public with my disaffection/break/discontent (whatever you want to call it) from the Mormon church–the church of my upbringing–I have had conflicting feelings.  On the one hand, I want to talk about my experiences because it shaped me as a child and continues shaping me as I grow older.  (My entire mindset is Mormon–I see things from a Mormon worldview; I view religion-related things from a Mormon perspective; and many of my friends are/were Mormon.)  On the other hand, I do not want to isolate those who continue to believe in the tenets of Mormonism and, in my mind, religion in all its forms.  It isn’t that I am trying to convince people to join me in my agnosticism/atheism, it’s that I am working through my past beliefs in order to integrate them into the person I am now and the person I am becoming.

I don’t feel I am being anti-Mormon, but understand the Mormon mindset which makes certain topics uncomfortable.   But, to be frank, it isn’t just Mormonism that I have issues with.  It is God, Jesus Christ, the scriptures, and the history of all Judeo-Christian religions.  I am open to exploring different religions and am also open to opinions that are different from my own. Heck, if you have an experience that is or was similar to mine, and you stayed faithful to whatever religion you currently are, tell me about it!

However, you are formally warned that I will be sharing my religious experiences and why I feel the way I do now.  It will be thoughtful and may also be hard to read.  So if you are uncomfortable with that and wish to say something that is not conducive to respectful conversation, do so at your own risk.  That is to say, I will not respond to hurtful comments.  In fact, I will delete your words forever.  At the same time, I have a forgiving heart.  Just be respectful to me and my views (and, by all means, disagree with me!) and I will be respectful to you.

All this is a lengthy explanation for my new Facebook rules.  I will be trimming down my current friends to those who are close friends and/or relatives.  I will not be talking about my religious angst, my political opinions, or anything that might be controversial on that account.  Instead, I have opened a new account that is dedicated to all the above plus a few other things that I will discuss a little later in this post.  You are welcome to friend me.  I am not picky and will accept everyone, who is not crazy and/or a friend whore, who asks.  I might seek you out because I am interested in what you have to say.  Again, you can find that new account here.   If you are not into that sort of thing, you are also welcome to “like” my blog.  It won’t be nearly as fun as my new account, but will apprise you of new blog posts.


My second piece of business is more momma-related.  Y’all know that I struggle with intense mental illness, right?  (If you don’t, where have you been?) (Kidding.)  As I am figuring out how to handle it (yes, my medication does not make it all better, I must do other things to keep me level), I realize that most of my current stress comes from being a mom.  To two toddlers.  To help me see the bright side of some crazy days, I will be posting quotes and/or experiences from the day to my new Facebook account‘s wall.  So if you are annoyed by that kind of thing, be warned.  It is something I realize helps me see things in a less hazy way.  I love my kids.  Oh I love them.  But mental illness often clouds my perspective and I need a metaphorical Windex-like product to wipe my windows clean.  And this is the idea that came to me.  So I’m going to try it.


Numero three.  I am revamping my weekly supporting parents write-up.  Look for more details soon.


And finally, I am taking a short break to recuperate and tackle this enormous to-do list I have.  I will most likely continue reading your blogs but need some time to gather my own thoughts before returning to writing. This whole exploration of my new feminist/religious/philosophical self is exhausting.  Literally, I pass out every day quickly because my mind is teeming with information, comments, ideas, etc.  Also, my to-do list is full of things with actual deadlines.  Deadlines that are coming up real fast.  Yikes.  So I must dedicate more time to completing these tasks (which include some exciting new adventures, I’ll keep you posted) before the end of the month.  I will continue with the Supporting Parents posts because I really do believe in my original idea and because it helps me look over my parenting with an objective magnifying glass.

If you are still reading this long post, kudos to you.


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Breathe. Just Breathe.

I knew posting about my religious beliefs–or unbelief–would be hard, I just didn’t expect it to wear me out!  I also didn’t expect the responses I received: passionate, happy, concerned, and support.  Overall, the reaction was positive.  Thank you all for your words of comfort.  Clearly, I have life-long friends.

I do want to clarify something: I am happy.  I also feel at peace with my decision.  The angst of church is no longer part of my life; the angst I feel now comes from fear of potential repercussions by leaving a tight-knit church: ostracism, abandonment, and hatred.  Thankfully, I haven’t experienced that.

To keep things simple today, and to give my mind a break, I want to share some random, happy, tidbits of my life.

Ben starts medical school today!  As he said this morning, “This officially marks the beginning of the rest of our lives.”  It’s true!

Doesn’t he look handsome?

And now, the picture you’ve all been waiting for, my new hair cut.

I straightened Emily’s hair and attempted to capture a photo of our similar hair styles.

Obviously she was thrilled.

Lastly, Andrew is strong.  He broke the glass top on our glass top dining table.  How did he do it?  I am still not sure, but it happened while he was doing his favorite activity of climbing on the table.

Not much has changed in our household.


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Die, Winter, Die! Or Humbly Submit to Warmer Weather, Please

I am not a fan of the cold.  I have a distinct memory at 6 years of age that proves this.  I was outside playing with my family and shivering. I told my mom how cold I was, so she suggested I put more clothes on.  I did–I placed some leggings under my pants, and a long sleeved-shirt under my short-sleeved shirt.  (Yeah.  I was into layers before layers were the thing.)  The best part of this story?  It was spring.

Growing up in Idaho, we lived in a temperate climate.  Hot summers, cold winters with nothing too extreme; typical desert weather.

When I was 15, we moved to Alaska.  (Which is also where I met Ben. No, he is not a native born-Alaskan, he is from California; but, his affinity for winter suggests otherwise.)  Imagine how miserable I became!

Truthfully, I learned to adapt.  I learned to wear more layers and heavier jackets–complete with a hat and mittens for 10 months of the year.  And, much to my surprise, I was quite sad to leave that beautiful place.  I don’t miss the cold, though.

I have lived in Utah for close to five years now.  You know what?  I still am not used to the winters.  It isn’t nearly as harsh as Alaska’s winters, yet it still kills me.

Right now the thermometer outside reads 37 degrees.  My toes and fingers are like icicles, and I can’t find a dang blanket.  I have gulped down two mugs of hot chocolate and still can’t feel warm.

Arrgh.  And we are only in the beginning.  I am hoping that as I get used to the cold, I will be more willing to step out into it.  As of right now, I can’t convince myself to run, walk, or play in the yard.  The kids and I are stuck inside.

I acknowledge that some of you have even colder temperatures and are very capable of surviving.  Remember before you send deploring remarks, that you are, obviously, better than me.  I think that I’m just not built for cold weather.  I’d take heat any day.

And, considering my luck, we’ll probably end up in the coldest place for medical school.

Kindly send suggestions for keeping my toes and fingers warm–while inside–immediately.


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