Tag Archives: five for five

Memories Captured, Thanks Technology!

After my fifth (or was it seventh?) phone crashed in 2 years, I convinced my husband that it’s time I upgrade.  Like that, I had a high-tech smart phone with all the cool things it offered: apps for everything – maps, Facebook, Blogger, e-mail – and a camera.  A nice camera.  Better than my point and shoot camera, in fact.

So, after a long hiatus from picture taking, I started capturing little memories.  Andrew’s grumpy faces, Emily’s mischievous doings, Emily and Andrew playing and laughing together and Ben sitting with his kids.  With Picasa and Instagram suddenly available from my phone, I’ve taken more photos in a few months than I have in the last year and I’ve enjoyed taking these pictures.

With my weird personality quirks, it’s simple things – like a smartphone – that enable me to engage with my kids and actively capture our moments together. It’s what helps keep me alive and going, especially as I balance school and family and pregnancy (yes, an entity all its own).

While my privileged state is clearly shown through this post, I don’t care.  I am glad for technology and extremely grateful for my smartphone.

{Five for Five Day Three: Pictures. Join in!}

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Filed under My Kids

Questioning Words

My brain is full of words.

Two to four essays plus 2-4 lengthy papers a week.

Discussions with peers.

Writing, writing, writing.

But where to find the time?  And the energy?  If I weren’t so close to finishing this quarter (3.5 weeks), I’d consider calling it quits.  With the tables turned and Ben supporting me through grad school – in a nontraditional manner as he works full-time and I am both a graduate student and stay-at-home mom – it’s amazing how many words remain unsaid between us.  As I teeter from complete breakdowns to feeling on top of everything.

Mostly, the word is why.  Why did I decide to pursue a graduate degree now?  With two kids, 3 and 2, and another on the way (making it 3, 2, newborn)?

I suppose it’s my crazy feminist-like belief that a woman should not neglect her dreams any more than a man should.  I also believed that all that support I provided my husband through his years of undergraduate education and that partial year of medical school (when, despite his being near the top of his class, he realized he did not want to pursue medicine) would provide a foundation from which he could support me.

Naturally, I thought I’d have more time during the day.  I forgot about the havoc two toddlers can cause in an hour and how exhausting pregnancy is, even in the second trimester.  Nap time work? Heh. Waking up early? If I want to risk feeling out of control from exhaustion for the next week.  Staying up late? Without the distractions of my husband, sure. The line between too much and too little is thin and those comforting words I’ve told myself since starting – you can do this, it will be difficult but worth it – aren’t so comforting in the middle of it all.

And all those words spoken between us?  Of me explaining that I need his help and him saying that he will give it?  Are easier said than done.

Writing.

Talking.

Words.  So many words. Too many words.

What I want now is answers and time. Things that words can’t give and that I can’t seem to find.

*****

My gals at Momalom are hosting Five for Five.  Check it out!  And, they are combining forces with the lovely Heather for her Just Write series.  Pure awesomeness.

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Filed under Graduate School

Three

I am accustomed to change.  From handling 0 to 1 kid and 1 to 2 kids; transitioning from high school to college and college to graduate school; and moving from apartment to apartment (to town home and back to apartment) and from city to city and across state lines.

Yes, change.

One change that scares me beyond the rest will happen between July and August – the baby’s arrival.  While I was excited for a third baby’s arrival with pregnancies 3, 4, 5, and 6, it didn’t happen.  Instead, I lost baby after baby before the second trimester.   And, with that, all those feelings of excitement and anticipation that often comes with pregnancy were replaced by fear and anxiety.

In less than 4 months (FOUR MONTHS), the long hoped for yet seemingly hopeless event will happen.  A baby that is healthy (and active), a surprise (gender unknown), and our last (natural) addition will arrive.

Change.  The third child.  What many have warned will be the hardest transition our family will make.

I think we’re ready.

Five for Five starts today. Join. Seriously.

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Filed under Awesomeness