Tag Archives: Hyperemisis Gravidarum

That's Life (And It's So Grand)

While I had the best intentions of running a week’s worth of Top Ten in 2011 posts, my body told me to “stop that,” and rest.

So I have.

On Tuesday, I went to my ultrasound appointment and saw the most amazing thing: my developing embryo’s heart beat.  It was strong and loud.  I am happy.

The ultrasound also indicated just how far along I am: 6 weeks.  With my usual track record of horrible pregnancy-induced sickness, I stick to the couch and to boring foods like instant mashed potatoes with saltine crackers.  I no longer crave coffee, chocolate, or anything else delicious.  Instead, I shun all things healthy, unhealthy, and seemingly delicious by reaching for the most bland foods my irritated pregnant body wishes to consume.  My husband gets tongue lashings every day for ridiculous things.  He patiently (and not so patiently) endures them and quickly forgives my outbursts.  Thank God.

Between exhaustion and sickness, I do have brief interludes of productivity.  During these moments, I managed to complete my master’s application.  I am beyond excited to have this done and will now impatiently wait on an acceptance or rejection letter.

Right now, I am resting.  Life will resume its outrageously busy pace next week, when I start back at work again, so I am taking advantage of this brief holiday by putting my feet up and watching countless hours of TV.  And sleeping.  I can’t get enough sleep. (Except for at night, when my body decides it wants to act uncomfortable and send me dry heaving to the bathroom multiple times, but I seem to do okay during the day.)

I am not sure what shifted with this pregnancy.  Whether it’s the attitude of do-or-die (regarding the fetus) or the, hell what could possibly go wrong that hasn’t in previous pregnancies, line of thinking that has left me happily embracing each moment and living in the day.  I don’t consider names, how I will deliver the baby, or what gender it is.  Instead, I am content with a heart beat, the increasing nausea/dry heaving, and the muscle pain.  I am satisfied with each day that my body holds onto the pregnancy and feel confident that things will be okay.

As computer screens increase the nausea and dizziness, I will be going on a brief hiatus.  If and when I have a break from the sickness, I will return.  But for now, consider this my good-bye until next year.

I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season and enjoy your New Year’s festivities.



Filed under Reflections

Intentional Happiness + Bigger Picture Moment

Finding intentional happiness and seeing the bigger picture is easy for me this week.  I’m sure you know why.


Morning Sickness

When I took the pregnancy test,  the positive line was faint.  It worried me, slightly, but I was too excited to think about it.  While in California last week,  my anxiety kicked in.  I became weepy, angry, depressed, and frustrated with everything around me.  My husband was confused by my sudden alteration and finally confronted me.  In the quiet and safe place of the guest room, I unloaded all my worries.

What if I’m not pregnant?

You took a test, it was positive.

But what if it was wrong? What if I had a miscarriage early on?

I think that is pretty rare, but we could go buy another pregnancy test if you’d like.

No, I’d have to take it in the morning (don’t ask) and we don’t have time.  If I am pregnant, why don’t I feel sick yet?

You’re not that far along.  Be patient.

Yes, but, but, but, but…..

And the list continued on and on.   If I had been thinking clearly, I would have recognized my anxiety and severe mood swings as sure indicators I am pregnant.  Thankfully my husband did not mention that.

My pregnancies follow a simple order. Five weeks: nausea.  Six weeks: excessive vomiting. Seven-fourteen weeks: IV therapy.  Fourteen until the end: continued nausea and/or vomiting but no IV therapy.  Thus, not feeling sick immediately reminds me of my miscarriage, when the symptoms did not arise and I knew something was wrong.

We returned from our trip and almost immediately the nausea set in.  It wasn’t overpowering, at first, but enough to make me smile.  I would feel the urge to vomit and happily tell my husband.  I think he thought I was losing it.

I am sitting now, in front of the computer, closing my eyes against the nausea,  willing my stomach to keep my dinner down, and smiling.  Because to me, sickness means a healthy pregnancy and I really want to meet this baby.


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