Tag Archives: What’s Up With…?

What’s Up With the Diapers?

Remember when I posted back in January about my diaper dilemma?  Have you been sitting on the edge of your seat wondering what I did?  (Oh, you haven’t?  You mean to tell me that you are not entirely wrapped up in my life?  Humph.)

For those curious minds, this is the post for you.

Testing Days

After my father-in-law sent us a starter package of cloth diapers, I decided I would devote one day to each child for testing. The first day I used them only on Andrew.  Only one of the diapers leaked out.  I was delighted.

I stored all his diapers in the convenient washable dirty diaper storage bag and declared the day a success.

After I washed the diapers, I tried them on Emily.  To avoid sauntering into the too much information category, let me sum it up in one word: disgusting.  I will not use cloth diapers for my toddlers.  Ever.  I ended up throwing the one cloth diaper I used on her that day away.  Kind of counteracts the whole waste aspect, doesn’t it?  For Emily, or any child of mine that is eating anything more than breast milk, I would much rather go through the potty training messes than use cloth diapers.

Laundry

Since I am perpetually behind on laundry, I thought this would be a tricky issue.   Luckily, my dryer takes two cycles before things are completely dry so in between washing sessions I put in one load of cloth diapers.  The cloth diapers came out clean and smelled quite fresh! I hung them up to dry and continued with my on going laundry fight.

Money

While doing my part in helping the enviornment is nice, I would be a liar if I didn’t fess up to the luring aspect of saving money in this whole venture.  After I decided to change over to cloth diapers for Andrew, I looked at the prices.  I almost fainted.  I knew it would be an investment, but the investment was a bit too much for our small budget.  It would require that I save money for 3 or more months or else that I completely stop buying diapers.  Since both options weren’t feasible, I decided to stick with disposables.

Conclusion

Since I am a germophobe and hand washing fanatic, I was slightly afraid of how the whole cloth diaper mess.  I found, though, that changing a cloth diaper was as equally as disgusting as changing a disposable.   (How’s that for a description?!)  Since I wash my hands like a million times before and after changing a diaper and doing laundry, I found that aspect to not be an issue.

Using cloth diapers wasn’t nearly as dreadful as I once thought. The clean up was easy (with Andrew) and the laundry manageable.  The initial cost, however, does require certain adjustments.  I think that if I prepare before our next baby is born, we would end up saving money in the long run.

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What’s Up With the Balance?

After reading all of your responses to my balance question, I decided to try various suggestions and see what works for me.

I can tell you one thing: mornings do not work.  At least not yet.  My sweet little boy does not cooperate with my well intended plans.  He prefers to wake up every hour or so from midnight until 7 am.  Apparently he is trying to tell me that I must either a) go to bed earlier or b) sleep in later.  Going to bed early is a great idea; however, dear husband does not come home until late.  If I want a few moments of alone time with Ben, I must give up something else.  I choose to give up and early bed time.  A small sacrifice, really.

At this point in my little guy’s life, it is silly to expect so much from myself.   He and I are still figuring each other out.  So, I am no longer sticking to the blogging while napping thing.  At least not exclusively.  Let’s face it–naps are not as scheduled as they once were.  Giving myself little “bloggy breaks” every now and then are okay.  As many of you mentioned, it’s okay for kids to learn to entertain themselves.

As for being present?  I am going to quote from an e-mail my dear friend sent me.

“Somehow, we’ve come to believe that we should enjoy every moment of parenting. A lot of parenting – even cute cuddly babies or adorable toddlers SUCKS. It’s grunt work. It’s exhausting. It’s physical. It’s unending. IT’S WORK.

It doesn’t mean you don’t love your babies with every breath in your body. It’s just that it’s difficult to DO it – especially when you don’t get a lot of relief – day in and day out.”

Like most people, I put a lot of pressure on myself.  I expect to be the perfect parent, housekeeper, wife, friend, and woman.  Deep down I know this is unrealistic and even maniacal, yet those desires remain.  As I fail and fail pieces of my self-worth break off and shatter.  It seems hopeless,  because it is.

I have a husband who is in school.  He is gone frequently.  And, this will not change.  It will most likely get harder before it gets easier.  The high expectations I have set for myself are impossible.

To break free from this prison of hopeless expectations, I am learning to listen to those promptings that can help guide my actions.  Naturally, this is a tough thing.  It requires that I let go of my pride and humbly accept the help that is being offered from those around me.   “Those” meaning my husband, my friends, the Lord, and all of you.

Today was a rough day.  Little sleep, early morning appointments, and refused naps lowered my spirit.  But, in between the hard parts, there were tender mercies.  A random giggle from Andrew, a sweet kiss from Emily, a thoughtful call from Ben, and some appreciated e-mails added together to remind me that the tense moments are generally small and easily forgotten when I focus on how blessed I really am.

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