A Special Birth Day

We are at the end of Five for Ten.  I have enjoyed this round as much as enjoyed the last round.  I have made many new friends, read many inspiring posts, and cried many times.   Thank you Jen and Sarah for hosting this and for all those who have participated.  It has been a blast! The last topic for this series is “Yes.”

I got up, intending to take the test discretely.  The crinkle of the wrapper as I opened it woke Ben.  He knocked on the door and asked me if I was taking it.

I can’t hide anything from him.

I took the test and he came in as we waited for the results.  In a few seconds, two lines appeared.

I looked at him, eyes glowing with happiness, and asked him if he was ready.

Nine 1/2 Months Later–Midnight

The contractions were getting stronger.  I squeezed Ben’s hand as another contraction started.  He started packing the bag.

Bag in hand, he looked at me and asked, “Are you ready?”

The Next Day, Around 2:00 pm

The midwife checked me again.  “She’s crowning.  You can start pushing.”

Ben and I looked at each other, eyes blurred with exhaustion, hearts aglow with happy anticipation, the unspoken question hanging in the air,  “Are you ready?”

10 Minutes Afterward

The nurse cleaned the baby while the midwife stitched me up.  Ben alternated between holding my tired hands and staring at our beautiful angel.

When the cleaning was done, the nurse came over.  Holding our squishy faced newborn in her arms, she looked at us and asked, “Are you ready?”

We looked at each other, looked at our baby, and excitedly, emotionally, responded, “Yes!”

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Kristen at Motherese is hosting an on-line book club at the end of this month.  The chosen book is our friend Aidan‘s rookie novel, Life After Yes.  Having had the opportunity to read it, I am proud to join Kristen in offering a free copy to a lucky ready.  Leave a comment on this post before 6:00 am on Friday, May 21 and a winner will be randomly selected and announced that afternoon.

A Simple Walk

Five for Ten is still going strong!  Click on over to see what all the fuss is about.  The theme for today and tomorrow is “memory.”

When we started dating, I didn’t think it would last. I was too young, too immature.  You made me believe that we could be something more, something eternal.

After 6 months, we started talking marriage.  With butterflies in my stomach, I allowed the fantasy to ignite.  You held me entranced by the promise of forever, a future that I once thought impossible.

One Sunday, we took a walk.  We went down a street with familiar houses.  There was a particular one for sale, we stopped to grab the flier.  Within minutes we talked about what could be.  A house.  A family.  You.  Me.

I suggested an alternative–you quit the job you hate, go back to school, and we become starving college students just trying to get by.  You wistfully smile and allow yourself to think about that for a minute until reality hits.  You feel trapped by a job.

You gave me a ring with a question.  I answered, without hesitation, “Yes!”

The dream was within reach.

Months later we decided to break up.  You felt the need to embrace a higher calling for two years.  You wanted to give back to God what he gave to you.  You embarked on a mission.  Those two years would transform us–our relationship–into a force so powerful that we only wait 27 days from when you return to get married.

For two years we bickered.  We broke each other’s hearts multiple times.  We learned to have faith and to trust.  In God.  In ourselves.  In us.

A culmination of 4 years together and we finally had our forever.  A covenant in a temple is said, our reflection in mirrors is looked at, and tears of joy are shed.

Almost 3 years into marriage and we remember that walk.  We are indeed poor students.  But we aren’t starving.  We are full.  With life.  With children.  With each other.

You are pursuing your career of choice, I am living mine.

A simple memory, a fleeting fantasy, that is still unfolding.

Eternity.

And the Rest Is History, I Guess

In continuation of Momalom’s Five for Ten series, today’s topic is “Happiness.”  Click on over to join the fun!

During the whole appendectomy episode,  Ben decided that he wanted to try a new educational/career path.  Being in the hospital reignited his dream of becoming a doctor.  Since his GPA was practically spotless, he was weary of smudging his record with the tyrannical science courses.  With my wholehearted support,  he decided he would give pre-med a one semester try.   If he felt confident after that first semester,  he would continue on until the next semester, and, after that, he would be set on medical school.  (See? I really do support him in his dreams! As long as they do not include becoming a career pilot.)

The first semester was rough.  Not only were we new parents, but we were both taking classes.  Plus, to put it mildly, Ben’s classes were not easy.

When the semester was over, he managed to walk away with better grades than he expected.   He decided to continue.

Now, almost 2 years later, we have reached a point that was a mere speck in the horizon.

Yesterday, we received Ben’s MCAT scores.

If I could fully relate how much we have both sacrificed to reach this point, I would.  I will tell you this–there have been many days, especially over this last semester, when I wouldn’t see Ben until he stumbled into bed around 2 am.   I’m not just referring to the weekdays.  I mean Monday-Saturday.  (Sunday was our sacred family time.) It was difficult.  Parenting two little babies by myself, especially when my husband is only a couple miles away, was harder than I anticipated.  I wrote many disparaging posts (which I may just delete) and cried more than I care to admit, but I tried my best to support my husband through it all.  It helped to know that he was struggling as well.  I mean, he had to study and actually take the test.  I only had to blubber about solo parenting.  Besides, he loves his children more than I can describe.  He would have given anything to be with them.

So.  April 10th came and Ben took the test.  When finished it did nothing to alleviate our anxiety.  For all we knew, he would be taking it again (because he likely did not do well enough) after he found out his score.

The kids and I may have seen Ben more this last month, but the tension was still palpable; the nights still sleepless.

Fast forward to yesterday.  The scores were scheduled to come out at some point during the day.  While Ben tried to work and I tried to, um, tend to the kids (meaning read all the delightful Five for Ten posts), we couldn’t help but look at the website every ten seconds.

Finally, a little after 1:00, I received the call I had been expecting.  I answered the phone with a hurried–“Was it good??” To which my husband replied, “Yes!”

Pure happiness.

For inquiring minds,  knowing the score is the first step.  We will now be applying to different medical schools and starting the interviewing process sometime in September.  In some ways, I never thought this day would come.  I was sure we would be stuck in undergraduate education forever.  I am glad that this theory proved to be untrue.

That Was Love

I woke up to the familiar pain in my abdomen, giving it a perfunctory moment of my limited time.  I started getting ready with the tiny hope that I wouldn’t be giving the thought of my breakfast to the pregnancy gods that morning.  Alas, it was not to be.  After two or three vomiting sessions, I finally succumbed to the inevitable: A hurried pony tail, a Pop Tart for the road, and a skirt that wouldn’t bother my stomach.

The day went as usual.  Classes, homework, and the omnipresent nausea interrupting all coherent thoughts.

At 4, Ben and I were ready to go home.  We walked hand in hand discussing the day.   When we were halfway home, the abdominal pain became unbearable.  Clutching my stomach, I gasped and told Ben I had to sit down.   He worriedly looked at me.  He told me to stay put while he ran home to fetch the car.  It only took him a few minutes, but time seemed to freeze as the pain threatened to consume my whole body.

Immediately upon our return home, I went to bed.  I tried everything: deep breathing, hypnosis relaxation, and prayer but the pain remained.  Finally, around 11, Ben came in to the room to find me in the fetal position sobbing uncontrollably..

He rushed me to the hospital.

Over the next 15 hours, the doctors administered myriad tests on my aching body.   After an MRI, they finally found the culprit: appendicitis.  Within 20 minutes, I was being prepped for surgery.

The whirlwind of activity did not stop my dutiful husband from holding my hand.  He offered comforting words and many prayers.  If it weren’t for him, I would have been paralyzed by fear.

During the few moments before surgery, the doctors had to ask me the usual questions: What should we do if you go into labor? Would you like us to do everything to save the baby?

This question brought fear and tears.  I told them that if that did happen, they were to do everything for my little Emily.

I spent a couple of days in the hospital recovering.  An appendectomy while 6 months pregnant is not the easiest thing to recover from.  Still, I was grateful that my little baby was safely ensconced inside my womb.

Eventually the pain subsided and the memory of the event faded.  The scar, though, will never fully disappear.

When I think about what I have sacrificed for my little Emily, I think about my appendectomy.  I not only gave my body for her, I gave my appendix (even if an appendix is virtually useless).

I have never looked at myself as being courageous during this whole experience.  Yet, courage was evident–it took courage go to the ER, it took courage to tell the doctors to save my baby if she decided to come early, and it took courage to go home.

I have learned many lessons from that day, but one of the most important is that no sacrifice goes unanswered.  And this little girl was worth the indescribable pain.

This post is in connection with Momalom’s Five for Ten event.  Click over to see all other entries for “courage.”